What to Get a Man for Valentine’s Day

What to get a man for Valentine’s Day is hardly a question we women need to stress over. You know what I’m saying – wink, wink. But, on the chance you’re wondering about a “man gift”, I’ve found some terrific ones to help you out.

No balloons, or gooey cards, or Heaven forbid POEMS here, my sisters. No, no. These are very cool Valentine gifts for your man. Let’s get started!

1. Maple Candied Bacon. If you make this recipe for your man for Valentine’s Day, he will love you harder than a goat loves a stump. That’s a medical fact.

The Clever Carrot says the hardest part of making this stuff is taking the bacon out of the package. I’m saying anyone who can improve upon bacon is a genius and should be nominated for some kind of major humanitarian award.

Valentine's gift for a man - bacon

Maple Candied Bacon by The Clever Carrot

2. Pizza Bouquet. All human men love pizza. If you know a man who does not love pizza you should proceed with caution as he may be a slimy alien. This bouquet is made with homemade pizza bites and a six-pack on the side. Although the card in the photo says “congratulations”, I think this is a super fantabulous Valentine gift for the man you heart. Big props to From Glitter to Gumdrops for dreaming this dealio up.

Make a pizza bouquet for your man for Valentine's Day.

Pizza Bouquet created by From Glitter to Gumdrops.

3. Manly Cupcakes. Nothing says “I am a manly man’s cupcake” like Butch’s Bakery. From beer infused butter cream to maple cake with bacon crumbles to a brandy soaked cake with orange frosting – this is a sexy, manly bakery for sexy, manly men. Butch it up, Buttercup!

Valentine's gifts for men from Butch's Bakery.

Manly cupcakes from Butch’s Bakery.

4. Retro Candy. If you’re going to do candy for V-Day for a guy, don’t you even think about giving him some heart-shaped, toothpaste-filled chocolates. That’s some bad candy karma you’d be putting out there.

What you can do, while still maintaining your rightful place as Queen of the Wicked Cool Gifts, is order him a nice Retro Candy Crate on Amazon. Depending on which era you purchase, for just $29.90, your fella could be lovin’ him some wax lips, cinnamon toothpicks, Atomic Fireballs, or the always sexy Candy Cigarettes.

Retro Candy Crate for Valentine's Day - $29.90

Retro Candy Crate $29.90


5. Valentine’s Beer. The male of our species will often appreciate a nice brown beverage from time to time. I know it’s true because I read it in National Geographic. Or maybe it was National Enquirer. Either way, if someone publishes it, it has to be true.

Rather than just slapping a plain old six pack on the Valentine’s altar of love, spend a measly $15 and nab these ultra-awesome Valentine beer labels from Etsy shop Make The Best Crafts. I’m seriously lovin’ on them and also seriously asking myself why I can’t come up with ideas like this.

Valentine Beer Bottle Labels

From Etsy Shop “Make the Best Crafts.”

6. DIY Beef Jerky Bouquet. Nothing says lovin’ like dried meat on a stick. Tara of Moms of All Trades, Masters of Little just took Jack Links beef jerky to a whole ‘nuther level. Very cool, my friend. Very cool.

How to make a jerky bouquet for Valentine's Day.

Beef jerky bouquet how-to by Tara at Moms of All Trades.

7. Massage. Even if you don’t know how to properly massage someone, you’ll find your honey-cakes will love it just because you are touching him. First, order some massage oil, and second, pick up some You Tube tips that will help you give a great massage. (Here’s a great how-to massage video.)

Give a Valentine's Day massage to your husband.

Massage Oil for less than $20 via Amazon.

So there’s my Top 7 list of great gifts for your man for Valentine’s Day. What do you think???

If these don’t float your boat, what about some Chicken & Waffle cupcakes for your guy or maybe some DIY cutie pie pictures of your kiddos for his desk? Go ahead. You’ll knock his socks off!

About Sherri Bailey

Funny woman, author & comedy writer Sher Bailey writes about marriage, divorce, menopause, craft-envy, crap-soaked cats, and everything in between. And there is always plenty of in between.