Decorate Pumpkins Like a Mad Cool Pumpkin Decorator

Fact: I have never tried to decorate pumpkins – never. I’ve butchered them in the name of Halloween, but that hardly qualifies as decorating.  If you’ve seen me do that wine cork craft magic that I do, you know I am a talentless woman who should never be allowed in Hobby Lobby. Not even if I was being chased by Martha Stewart with a bloody (Mod-Podged) ax and the only thing that would save me were 50% off baskets made by tiny sweat shop children in third world countries.

And yet, I see crafty people online doing crafty things and I become convinced I too can take napkins, stick them on a pumpkin and be the envy of all my pumpkin decorating friends…

decorate pumpkins

Just like Debbie Saenz of A Creative Life. I can’t say for sure what was going on in Debbie’s head when she created this beauty, but I can say what I like to think was going on.

“Dang. I’ve got myself some pretty napkins, a bucket of Mod-Podge and a big ass pumpkin. I think I’ll put on some Wu Tang Clan and whip up some autumn awesomeness which will delight the people of the interwebs for years to come.”  And so she did.

decorate a pumpkin with Mod Podge

via A Creative Life

Alexa at The Swell Life is a pumpkin decorating maniac. She has some of the coolest pumpkins in the history of pumpkin-dom on her website. This particular pumpkin is all about words that describe what you’re thankful for, which is a really nice thing for a gourd to do.

My pumpkin will say things like, “false eye lashes,” “real butter,” and “the fact that there is no law that says you actually have to ever break a sweat in sweatpants.”

decorate a pumpkin with words and paint

via The Swell Life

Never once in my life have I been sitting around staring at a giant container of thumb tacks and had the desire to shove them into a pumpkin. Note I did not say I have never once been sitting around staring at a giant container of thumb tacks and had the desire to shove them into an ex-husband. That would be a lie.

I found this photo and the source wasn’t credited. Dammit, man! Now I am forced to use this photo without a credit which means somewhere, some brilliant thumb tack pumpkin artist is living a quiet life in complete obscurity all thanks to the internet. If the person who created this is your neighbor or your swimming teacher or your conjoined twin, please have them contact me.

Because seriously y’all – how much awesome sauce is this?

decorate pumpkin with thumb tacks

via Unknown Thumb Tack Pumpkin Artist

Who knew silver paint and some decals could turn something that grew in the dirty dirt into something so stinking fancy? Manuela at A Cultivated Nest, that’s who.

These are so pretty, aren’t they? I want to rush out right now, buy a case of silver spray paint and go to work on everything I find in the dirt out in my back yard.

Well, everything but the prezzies my neighbor’s cat leaves me. No crown decal in the world is gonna land that on my entry way table.

Decorated pumpkins with silver paint and rub on decals

via A Cultivated Nest

I love Sharpies. I love them a lot. If a man I was dating ever brought me a bouquet of Sharpies, I would marry him.

But then again, I once married a man because he brought me plastic flowers that had a very distinct just-plucked-from-the-cemetery smell, so maybe my matrimonial standards aren’t quite as high as they should be.

Meanwhile lookie what I found at My Rainbow Elephant. It’s got pumpkins. It’s got Sharpies. It’s got doodling. If there is any craft in the wide world for which I might possibly have enough talent, it’s this one. Let’s all bow our heads and pray to Michael’s that my Sharpie pumpkins don’t come out looking like I drew on them after I took a pill I found on the bathroom floor in the men’s room of Taco Bell.

Pumpkins decorated with Sharpies

via My Rainbow Elephant

Don’t you love these awesome decorated pumpkins? Don’t you want to throw your laptop right onto the ground this instant and run to the pumpkin store and buy up all they have?

Do you have a fave pumpkin craft? Show it to me, sister!

Big love,

Sadie Mae

 

About Sherri Bailey

Funny woman, author & comedy writer Sher Bailey writes about marriage, divorce, menopause, craft-envy, crap-soaked cats, and everything in between. And there is always plenty of in between.