I’ve loved all the colors and textures of a Peacock for as long as I can remember. It’s such an amazing and beautiful combination, and I find it so compelling and calming. I’ve only very rarely seen an actual Peacock, but trust me – they do not disappoint in the “splendor” department.
Leave it to the incredibly talented collective pool of Etsy sellers to come up with their own nods to the pretty Peacock. I couldn’t possibly pick a favorite – they’re all too special.
Wake the kids, phone the neighbors and gather them all around your computer screen as I continue to unleash more Keep Calm graphics. That’s right. We’re keeping calm and keeping sharing keep calm graphics.
Keep calm and nurse on. I love nurses. They are nice. Except when they’re not. But, they mostly are. And that’s all I have to say about that.
Keep calm and scream. For my money, this is sound advice. I believe it should be posted in every labor and delivery room, every driver’s license office, and on every middle-aged woman’s mirror and/or scale.
I do this one. A lot. Imagining is the best. I highly recommend it at every available opportunity. In fact, if imagining were a sport, I’d probably win a major award.
Pin on! Enough said. Well maybe not really enough. I’m never sure when it’s enough. How ’bout now? Now it’s enough.
The “keep calm” phenomenon that’s been (sort of) done to death actually originated from a vintage 1939 British propaganda war poster. Since it first started making the internet rounds in 2000 or so, we’ve all seen “keep calm” graphics everywhere.
BUT, there are still some good “keep calm” sayings left. Some are twisted, some are cute, some are… well… you’ll see. Please note: while I truly want to credit the sources, it’s often impossible to find the originator of these graphics. I’ve credited where I have the info.
This first “keep calm and”… made me smile. It also made me look up to be sure all the cool bloggers weren’t about to dump pig’s blood on my head.
I like this Easter graphic for many reasons, not the least of which is that my darling daughter created it and has it on her blog, Love & Marriage.
Keep calm and uncork a red. These are words to live by. I say them every day when I am driving home from work.
I dig this because it’s ironic. I would however be far more delighted to find one that says, “Keep calm and wax your mustache.”
Please tell me you get this next one. Because if you don’t get this, I have to break up with you.
I do agree it’s best to keep calm when slaughtering the un-dead. That’s just my experience any way.
I never learned to do the hustle. Please don’t tell anyone as there are literally hundreds of humans who believe I can. I can’t risk the scandal.
What to get a man for Valentine’s Day is hardly a question we women need to stress over. You know what I’m saying – wink, wink. But, on the chance you’re wondering about a “man gift”, I’ve found some terrific ones to help you out.
No balloons, or gooey cards, or Heaven forbid POEMS here, my sisters. No, no. These are very cool Valentine gifts for your man. Let’s get started!
1. Maple Candied Bacon. If you make this recipe for your man for Valentine’s Day, he will love you harder than a goat loves a stump. That’s a medical fact.
The Clever Carrot says the hardest part of making this stuff is taking the bacon out of the package. I’m saying anyone who can improve upon bacon is a genius and should be nominated for some kind of major humanitarian award.
2. Pizza Bouquet. All human men love pizza. If you know a man who does not love pizza you should proceed with caution as he may be a slimy alien. This bouquet is made with homemade pizza bites and a six-pack on the side. Although the card in the photo says “congratulations”, I think this is a super fantabulous Valentine gift for the man you heart. Big props to From Glitter to Gumdrops for dreaming this dealio up.
3. Manly Cupcakes. Nothing says “I am a manly man’s cupcake” like Butch’s Bakery. From beer infused butter cream to maple cake with bacon crumbles to a brandy soaked cake with orange frosting – this is a sexy, manly bakery for sexy, manly men. Butch it up, Buttercup!
4. Retro Candy. If you’re going to do candy for V-Day for a guy, don’t you even think about giving him some heart-shaped, toothpaste-filled chocolates. That’s some bad candy karma you’d be putting out there.
What you can do, while still maintaining your rightful place as Queen of the Wicked Cool Gifts, is order him a nice Retro Candy Crate on Amazon. Depending on which era you purchase, for just $29.90, your fella could be lovin’ him some wax lips, cinnamon toothpicks, Atomic Fireballs, or the always sexy Candy Cigarettes.
5. Valentine’s Beer. The male of our species will often appreciate a nice brown beverage from time to time. I know it’s true because I read it in National Geographic. Or maybe it was National Enquirer. Either way, if someone publishes it, it has to be true.
Rather than just slapping a plain old six pack on the Valentine’s altar of love, spend a measly $15 and nab these ultra-awesome Valentine beer labels from Etsy shop Make The Best Crafts. I’m seriously lovin’ on them and also seriously asking myself why I can’t come up with ideas like this.
I respect and admire humans who create super cool Halloween scenes and yard decorations. Mine always look like I was going for a graveyard and by virtue of tequila and losing my glasses, wound up with what can only be described as a garden of broken jack-0-lanterns and poorly hand-painted tombstones made out of grocery bags and tears.
But the creators of these Halloween yard decorations were obviously not drunk because they are stupendously Halloweeny.
I think we can all agree Martha Stewart is an evil craft genius who makes women everywhere want to donate our Fallopian tubes to the Salvation Army because we realize by comparison we are something less than female. The fact that she can take a piece of gravel, 4 pheasant feathers and the right testicle of Rush Limbaugh and craft a whimsical side table is completely non-human.
I only include her on this list because making these hanging bats could totally help you decorate your yard for Halloween – and also because she monitors the interwebs for craft posts that don’t include her and is rumored to abduct offenders and boil them in Mod Podge.
Skeleton flamingos. In all my life I’ve never put those two words together – until now.
These are deep fried Halloween awesome sauce and the only flamingos Momcaster authorizes ANYONE to put in their yard EVER.
You can purchase them for about twenty-two buckaroos on Amazon.
Damn you, Martha Stewart! I cannot believe I am adding yet ANOTHER one of your ideas for a Halloween yard. I can’t help it. These DIY cloth ghosts are ten kinds of cool. Seriously. Ridiculously cool.
In other news, I wonder if Martha somehow took control of my soul when I picked up some of her chalkboard paint at Michael’s yesterday? That would explain my posting about her like this – and also why I got cramps that forced me to use a public restroom in a crafts store.
More than anything in the whole world up to and including winning a dream date with Rick Springfield, I want these Halloween ghost dresses in my yard.
If you don’t find them highly desirable for Halloween, I find you to be extremely suspicious and most probably a communist.
This, my darling blog reader person, is a House-o-Lantern and it is spookalicious. You need corrugated cardboard to make this. I don’t know what that is, but I think it’s the opposite of Southern Baptist cardboard.
This next craft to decorate your yard for Halloween is officially creepy and I love it. Ghoul Friday teaches you how to create a pretty realistic corpse skeleton for your very own. (Not that I’m a recognized expert on what constitutes a realistic corpse skeleton.)
It does remind me of someone though.
Thanks for that memory, Match.com.
These toxic waste barrels glow under a black light. That makes me feel all warm and fuzzy – and I like that very much.
There you go, kidlets. You go on now and make your Halloween yard look scary. I’ve gotta go now. I need to try and wash the Martha off me.
PS: If you liked this post, please share it, pin it, slamchop it, tweetle it and come hang out with me on Facebook. It won’t put groceries in my fridge, but it’ll encourage me not to hide under the kitchen table crying and eating cream cheese with my fingers.
She’s obviously created this cutie-pie Ninja Apple Cozy with me in mind.
Well played, Natalya. Well played.
As you know by now, I play the ukulele. I play the fresh hell right out of the ukulele every chance I get.
Free Bird, Moves Like Jagger, and my favorite and yours, Weasels Ripped My Flesh – these are but a few of my favorite ukulele tunes.
Normally I play your basic standard ukulele that is almost never in the shape of fruit. That, my friend, is a personal shortcoming that I intend to correct now that I’ve found Celentano Woodworksowned by the talented craftsman Paul Celentano.
Behold, the apple ukulele… AKA the Applelele.
When you visit a shop called The Atomic Apple, you better know you’re about to have apple hella awesome sauce poured all over your head. Seriously.
Look what they do to perfectly normal, albeit completely boring apples, y’all! I’m saying any time you can drown something in chocolate and then cover it in Heath Bar Crunch, you my friend are a national hero and a credit to the human race.
I think you should stop what you’re doing and order these at once… and then order some for me. All the cool kids are doing it.
I don’t do math – not because I can’t, but because I don’t believe in it. Somehow, despite my firm stance against numbers, I raised a son who is a math nerd and who is currently in college pursuing his love of 2-2 equals please buy an ad on Momcaster so he can stop eating noodles that cost a nickel.
Even though math is the devil, this Apple Pi necklace from Hot House Posey is so beyond aDORKable, I want to own it for my very self.
When I was a little Southern girl, my Grandma used to dry apples in the sun on old window screens that rested on wooden saw horses. I learned two things from watching her do this each year:
1) Apples drying in the sun produce a wonderful aroma.
2) OH MY GOD THERE ARE FLIES EVERYWHERE – THE HORROR, OH THE HUMANITY -PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SOMEONE INVENT GERM-X AND OH BY THE WAY I AM NEVER EATING ANYTHING SHE MAKES WITH THOSE APPLES AS GOD AS MY WITNESS.
I would, however, not be at all opposed to drying apples in my oven so as to make this completely awesome and not at all fly-covered wreath by Cherry Menlove.
When I was about 17 years old, a girl from what we who lived in the foothills of North Carolina called “the hills” brought a Mason Jar full of moonshine to school.
Given that I had grown up around moonshine it seemed perfectly reasonable that on that day I would make a fateful decision to drink my first of the stuff during chorus while Mrs. Redheaded Chorus Teacher was so busy talking about “and rest and breathe” that she failed to notice a delightful young woman with hair as big as a Volkswagen getting so sloppy drunk that she was panting like a rabid fox during the “and breathe” part of The Benediction.
Meanwhile, if you’ve never tried moonshine, you are a sissy girl who needs to straighten up and fly right. You can start by making some Apple Pie Moonshine. Word to the wise: don’t believe your sister when she tells you your Daddy won’t be able to smell the shine on you if you eat a bunch of peanut butter cups. The only thing worse than throwing up shine in a ditch about 100 yards from your house is throwing up peanut butter and chocolate mixed with shine about 100 yards from your house.
Thanks to me you know someone who has thrown up moonshine. You’re welcome. Hang out with me on Facebook and I promise you’ll be the first to know the next time that happens. And speaking of moonshine, dig on these Drink Ideas for a Party. Super cool. Totally.
I am going to admit something to you because we’re best pretend friends.
I am so depressed, I can barely bring myself to chew food, suck air into my lungs, blog words, or strap on my false eyelashes. Life has seriously handed me a big bucket of truly sour lemons and since I’m not by nature a lemonade-making kind of girl, I’ve spent my days wondering if I dove out my bedroom window head first whether I would bounce like a Bumble or splat like a water balloon.
These are entirely constructive and completely healthy thoughts.
Today I’m in search of things that will make me feel better and in so doing, prevent the local news from leading with, “Dumbass 48 Year Old Woman Leaps From Her Window But Only Manages To Break Her Coccyx. Tune In at 11PM as Steel Smythington Explains What the Hell a Coccyx Is.” Be warned: these make no logical sense.
Logical sense is stupid.
5 Awesome Things That May Keep Me From Jumping Out of My 3rd Floor Window
I almost never laugh at toddlers who smoke. But friends, in the early days of America and photography, it was a different time. Youngsters routinely got bad perms, wore weird tights and tap shoes even where there was no tapping to be done, and hand-rolled cigarettes were a delicious treat.
And the caption? C’mon. That’s comedy brilliance.
NASA scientists have studied the effect Christian Louboutin shoes have on the female psyche, and here is what they discovered…
No one can ever be sad enough to fling themselves from a high window while wearing these shoes. (Until they receive the Visa bill at which point the potential for self-harm increases 1,897%.)
These shoes retail at $2795 American dollars. I have literally lived in places that wouldn’t cost that much to rebuild if leveled by an F5 ex-husband.
If you’re ever kidnapped by shady individuals who tell you your only hope of getting out alive with all your ears intact is to answer two questions of critical import about Sadie from Momcaster, you are home-free because I’m about to hook you up with knowledge.
How many times did Sadie live in Germany?
The correct answer is: twice.
What are Sadie’s favorite cookies in the whole, big, wide world?
The correct answer for both your ears and your freedom is: German Spitzbuben.
I haven’t had these in a very long time, but I remain convinced I would be decidedly un-sad if I had a dozen of these in my general vicinity right now. These cookies are ridiculously awesome, which everybody knows is better than completely plausible awesome.
I woke up yesterday and discovered I was in love with Steve Buscemi. More to the point, I want to marry Nucky Thompson, his character on Boardwalk Empire. That show makes me happy when skies are gray… or when I am about to kick the screen out of my window.
If you’ve never seen boobies, watched a character in a movie get shot in a completely vital organ, or heard a bad word, you probably don’t want to get your behind over to Amazon to buy episodes because Martin Scorsese insists any project he works on has all of these things in good measure.
This next thing might seem a little out of character given my desire to polish wing tips and watch shows that use bad words. It just goes to show when you think you know someone, you really don’t.
I love VaShawn Mitchell. His voice is powerful and this song of worship speaks to me in a way I can’t explain. I’ve been listening for weeks now over and over again. Regardless of your specific religious beliefs, the sweetness of this guy’s spirit may speak to you, too.
So there’s my list of things to make me feel better. Whats on YOUR short list of things that make you feel happy when you’re down?
I have a bee in my bonnet tonight about orange things and upcycled things. Who knows where such thoughts come from. I would blame the LCD I did in the 60s, but I was only a toddler and my Mom wouldn’t let me have any fun.
Meanwhile doesn’t “Etsy” sound like your Aunt from the hills of North Carolina who crochets socks for you every year for Christmas and is so old, no living human exists that can verify that she is indeed an immortal vampire?
Aunt Etsy’s Favorite Shops – Upcycled & Orange
If I had the skill to turn aluminum cans into jewelry, I would rule the world. No way you can look at this delight from ecochiqueboutique and not feel like chopping up a Diet Dr. Pepper can and wearing it to work tomorrow. This is so “adorkable”, I can’t stand it.
Never once have I looked at a gelatin box and thought, “This could house my random thoughts on life as well as various and assorted grocery list items.” I don’t know how RecycledFibers got to be such a visionary, but seriously y’all. She made a notebook out of a discarded box of gelatin. I’m gonna just say it because we’re all thinking it…
Sarah, we’re gonna need proof you aren’t some sort of alien.
Once upon a time this ring was a vintage button. In other news, once upon a time I was a size 1. Life lesson from Aunt Etsy? Things change, kids.
Etsy shop owner Wendy of alwaysgreener uses words like “chucked” and “kit & kaboodle” in her listing. That makes me like her. The fact that she ships this beauty in a handmade origami box makes me want to touch the hem of her garment in the hopes some of her Earth-loving self will rub off on me.
Jackson of All Trades combines vintage cans with soy wax and the next thing you know, you have one of the absolute coolest looking candles in your neck of the woods. They have tons of scents from which you can choose. I’m thinking the Hazelnut Coffee is the right way to go.
PS: I don’t know what “neck of the woods” even means. Al Roker says it, so it must be an acceptable American thing to say in mixed company but still… it makes no sense.
This necklace from sweet2bliving features a Buffalo nickel and a beautiful orange bead hanging from a sterling silver chain. I want to have it.
While I cannot promise I wouldn’t drop my necklace in a slot machine the next time I’m in Vegas and down $3455, I can at least promise I will try.
1-800-BETS-OFF, people. Because shoving your Etsy jewelry in a slot machine is the first sign you might have a problem.
Okay kids, Sadie’s good for my upcycled and orange craving for tonight. I love Etsy harder than a goat loves a stump because there is so much unbelievable talent there. (Read: Advertise Your Etsy Shop Like a Pro, Yo.) I’m always filled with ‘WOW” when I’m creeping there.
Subscribe to my feed to see what’s up next. Who knows what Momcaster will feature tomorrow? Could be YOU! 🙂
When I first laid eyes on Cockatoo Blue, I couldn’t STOP looking for the color everywhere. I don’t know what it is about it, but I’m absolutely mad for the color.
Like everything else of beauty, the first place I went to look for my Cockatoo Blue fix was on Etsy. Naturally, I was not disappointed.
If you’re like me, and you want to snag a little something delicious in Cockatoo Blue, start right here.
By Flowerleaf, this sweet little ring is made from a Scrabble tile. Something about it just sucked me in and I think it’s completely adorable. Sadly, this listing shows it’s been sold – but surely you could talk the artist, Jocelyn Pryor, into making another one. (I think this could be a great Bridesmaid gift, bee-tee-dubs.)
By LovelandShadeTree this Blue Cockatoo Dancing Dragonfly Necklace is jaw-dropping, PAY ATTENTION TO ME, beautiful! Oh Marion, you did something really special here.
Because I’m nearly 100 years old, you’re not likely going to see me wearing arm warmers. But I have to tell you that these Cockatoo Blue arm warmers make me believe for a minute that I could. From Zen and Coffee, behold… awesomeness.
Prepare to lust after this Cockatoo Blue headband from MacKSwank. Isn’t it sparkly deliciousness? Bonus: Shop owner MacKenzie says in her listing that it doesn’t give you headaches. Praise be. All my ex-husbands are headache enough for me.
If you’re looking for just a little pop of Cockatoo Blue, craftyjules can hook you up with this sweet little anklet in leather. It’s perfection for summer on the beach, kids.